Art of Connecting

AOC Training

Information below on:

How to Run Small Groups

Discussion groups are great places for young people to learn from each other and express their views. They provide a platform for encouragement and participation through fellowship. Your role is to support this process.

Remember:

• Don't preach at a small group.

• Try to involve everyone, especially the quieter ones.

• Keep to the subject.

• Keep it moving.

• Don't allow groups to sit in silence for too long!

It helps to have a set of prepared questions to discuss, but don't be afraid to deviate slightly from this list, as long as the discussion stays on the subject. If anyone seems keen to discuss something else, encourage them to talk to you at the end of the meeting. If one or two particular group members are dominating the discussion, thank them for their contributions and ask the rest of the group what they think.

Dealing with Discipline

The teenage years can be an unsettling time, so don't be shocked if some of your young people sometimes behave unpredictably. Discipline, when dealt with well, can be encouraging and affirming for young people. Make sure that your group has a clear set of ground rules and communicate these rules to the other leaders, to parents of the young people, and to the young people themselves. Work with your team to decide on a disciplinary process. (For example, how many warnings will a member of the group receive before being punished? What sort of punishments are you prepared to enforce?) And above all, do all you can to build relationships with your young people and with their families. Then, if there is a problem with discipline, the parents of the young person or young people concerned will be far more likely to help you.

Some tips for effective discipline:

Don't threaten a punishment unless you can and will carry it out.
Don't overreact.
Set clear, definite boundaries and stick to them.
Be consistent, fair but firm.
Don't give unjust punishment: it must be suitable punishment for the behaviour.
Don't shout - use a calm voice.
Discipline should be positive not negative.
Give praise.
Never use sarcasm.

Pastoral Care

It is quite possible that some pastoral issues will arise as the Art of Connecting course continues. Clearly, it is important to deal with pastoral issues well. We advise the following steps, to help you achieve this:

Create a safe and secure environment. Make sure that the young people feel free to be themselves and be open about anything they're struggling with. So, do all you can to communicate to each of your group members that they are accepted and valued just as they are, and that bullying of any sort will not be tolerated. You may find it useful to draw up a 'code of conduct', which each of your young people will be expected to sign before they join the group.
Set aside a separate area for talking and praying. This could be one end of your meeting room, or another room entirely. Ensure that this area feels private, but that anyone in this area is still visible. (For example, curtain off one end of the room, or leave the door open if you are using a separate room.
Right from the start, it is essential that The Art of Connecting course is run within appropriate child protection guidelines. Speak to your church's child protection representative for more details. For example, do not allow mixed sex prayer ministry. Male leaders should pray with boys, and female leaders with girls.
Allow time for pastoral issues to be resolved. A teenager with deep personal problems is extremely unlikely to have them resolved overnight. Do all you can to support a young person in this position, and pray for them, until the problem is overcome.

On a practical level, the following steps are helpful:

Make sure there are tissues available!
Keep a Bible with you. Some words of encouragement from scripture might turn out to be exactly what a young person needs. You might also wish to have a variety of tracts on offer to your group.
Make a list of useful phone numbers, and keep it to hand. Include local police, social services, Churches Child Protection Advisory Service, and any local hostels for young people.